I feel like this is a topic that time and time again I have had to explain to prospective clients who are seeking a blackmail experience, as well as new camgirls/Dommes who are learning about providing such a service. It’s a very simple road to navigate as long as it is done properly, but too often I see people putting themselves at risk for the sake of the thrill.

Blackmail fantasy is a very popular form of domination that I engage in on a regular basis. It is a situation in which an individual willingly provides me with personal photos or information which I then “threaten” to expose/use against them if they do not pay me/fuck themselves in the ass/send more compromising photos, etc. The specifics of each situation are tailored to the desires of the individual requesting such a session. Some people get off on the thrill of having compromising photos posted on Twitter, which are only removed once they complete a humiliating task. Others may want to be “forced” to provide a weekly tribute, with the promise that I will email their secrets to their wife or boss if they miss a payment.

The important thing to note here is that everything I do that relates to blackmail is done consensually, as part of the other person’s fantasy – Hence the term blackmail fantasy, which separates it from actual blackmail. It is essentially a form of role play – And just like any safe, consensual role play, if at any time during the fantasy the safe word gets used, the session stops. I would never truly force anyone to provide a weekly tribute, nor would I actually email anything compromising to anyone in their life. True subs follow through with their tasks and tributes out of their desire to keep the fantasy alive. The fun is in acting like I’m in charge, but truly, anything provided to me (gifts, money, information) is provided willingly, and anything compromising (secrets, pics) is kept only for reference in future sessions (“Remember when you told me about ______ last week? Imagine what would happen if I told your wife…”).

Unfortunately, choosing the safe and responsible route can come at a price for Dommes such as myself. On more than one occasion, I have had blackmail slaves and finsubs turn me away as a prospective Domme due to my use of the term “fantasy” in reference to blackmail sessions. They claim to only want the “real deal”. This is an issue for multiple reasons:

1. Chances are, if you’re asking for it, it’s not real. The whole concept of real blackmail does not involve asking to have it done to you, nor does it involve your consent or ability to stop it in any way whatsoever. This doesn’t mean it can’t turn into something real, though. I have seen the aftermath of individuals who adamantly claimed they wanted their lives to be completely destroyed by blackmail connecting with people who had no issue in actually doing so. I have never once seen the individual who asked for it not end up regretting the fact that things went that far, though. What most people seem to want is to call it real, while still actually having it be a fantasy, since calling it a fantasy can, for many, ruin the vibe. You know what, though? That’s kind of too bad, considering…

2. Real blackmail is illegal, and engaging in a blackmail session without proof that it has been acknowledged as a fantasy only by both parties leaves us liable. Anyone who offers “genuine” blackmail sessions puts themselves at risk for a lawsuit simply by stating that it is something they’ll do. After all, claiming to offer actual blackmail is admitting to a major felony. It is important for those of us “blackmailing” the individuals who ask us to do so to make it clear that it is a fantasy for this reason. No one wants to get slapped with a lawsuit because the person they “blackmailed” decided they later regretted the experience and wanted to shift the blame to the person they asked to do it.

I understand that when it comes to many fetishes, a need to intensify overtime is common. You become desensitized, so you dive into something a little crazier, or a little more dangerous. However, that does not mean you should ever expect a proper Domme to risk their own personal safety and reputation for your fetish.

To combat the fact that handling blackmail fantasies responsibly can “dull” things, I tend to work through all of the legal precautions – Proof of consent, boundaries & limitations, safe word, etc. – prior to/separately from the role play itself. Yes, I get it – It still doesn’t sound as sexy as simply diving into things and forcing someone to hand over their money/freedom/secrets etc., but as least it creates a barrier between the responsibilities of both parties to handle the fantasy in a manner that will not result in any unwanted emotional/physical/legal repercussions, and the time spent enjoying the fantasy.

Blackmail fantasy is an easy road to navigate, as long as it’s done right. Never sacrifice your safety for the thrill – It’s not worth it.